We all know the story of Cinderella. Or the story of
Cinderfella, (
which is about a small corset, and the whole forced TV thing) just in case you were curious. Yet in spite of that childhood lesson we all got, I find it simply amazing how so many of us totally forgot it. The thing is, that shoe, that high heeled glass pump, (
or Cinderfella's corset), just doesn't fit everyone. And what's more, it doesn't need to.
In case you aren't aware, I'll let you in on something, each person's kink is the same way. Even when you're into a specific fetish, I promise there are sub-divisions of it, and those groups still don't quite fit that way. As a group of men who enjoy female dominants and strapon play what their ideal style is. Is their ideal mistress rough and ruthless? Is she gentle and loving? Are they fully transformed? Is it about trying to fit a tree trunk in their ass? Is it humiliating? Is it about preparing for a "real man" or is it simply dominating? I've seen the 'ideal' described all of those ways.
But I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised when yesterday, I shared here and on
FetLife about my emotional roller coaster ride. I don't think I whined. I don't even think I was complaining. I thought I was sharing... ya know, babbling.
I was hoping to share some of how I felt as another example of a man who has sought chastity play and now felt a bit in over his head - and I definitely do think that's a bit hot. And I think it's a bit of the point of chastity play. But I didn't expect some of these replies I got at FetLife. I guess I can't be surprised, but it is comic that they were all from people who call themselves slaves & subs! There were several replies from folks telling me, and even more amazingly... my WIFE how we should play. How special is that!
To be clear, I didn't ask anyone for suggestions on how I should feel about it, I didn't ask for feedback about what my wife should do. I was just sharing what was going on with me, after going through my 2nd longest period of chastity - having been denied twice. And yet, this group of subs felt compelled to shove their glass slipper on my foot and tell me it should feel comfortable.
And to think of how much we all hate being judged and persecuted, then we go and treat each other like this? How hypocritical is that?
Sometimes it's easy for me to remember why so many of us are single in the scene. Saying that there are "no good dommes/subs" in the world.
Hey, finding someone who your kinks match to is not easy. I get that. I've lived it. Being loving, and understanding, and accepting, and supportive, and open-minded, and forgiving, and unselfish, and patient is tough sometimes. When every ounce of blood in my privates screams for
FORCE ME TO EAT THAT ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM WITH CHOCOLATE SYRUP ON A SPINNING PLATE NOW!!! Ummm, *cough* please, Mistress? Yah, sometimes its tough to remember that she might not like spinning plates, or chocolate syrup, or even rocky road.
And it is all totally ok.
But don't go shoving your idea of what the glass slipper should look like, or how it should fit, or how long you have to walk in them in your fantasy world down other people's throats. That's not how grown ups deal with each other in life, kids.
Most people after they start to learn a modicum about kink realize that there is no "wrong" way to play, but it seems to take many folks much longer to get past the ignorant presumption that their way is the right way.
And who the hell ever thought a glass heel was hot? I guess it must have been some foot fetishist. Seeing those toes all jammed up into the tip... do you think they should they be painted? Red? Black? French pedi? And just how high are those heels by the way?
Too bad they weren't locked on like Cinderfella's are. That would've kept Cinderella from losing one as she fled - but then again, wouldn't have had much of a story now would we?
I have received a few notes over the last year about the link on my blog to Recovery in the Lifestyle: recoveryinthelifestyle.org, or "RitL" for short. Most folks want to know what it's about - and the short answer is that it's a national (technically it can be international) 12 step organization. It follows their format and traditions of most 12 step groups. It's only a few years old and it's for people who are in recovery (of any type: alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, sex, etc.) and are also living an alternative sexual lifestyle, (aka. kinky).
