My good friend "Vanilla Edge Tom" had a great topic from... gee... that's a few months now... December, where he ranted a bit about the growing # of posters on chastity forums who like to fantasize about the idea of using chastity to "fix" Tiger's marriage.
"But I am going to beg you to please, please stop your idle chatter on the type of chastity belt that Tiger should wear. Or if he would have been a better husband if he had been wearing one. Or if his wife will make it part of the re-negotiated pre-nuptial agreement. Or if wearing one would screw up his swing.I ask this of you because - as you've no doubt heard me say in the past - anyone who thinks a $200 hunk of plastic (or even a $2,000 hunk of stainless steel, for that matter) is going to cure their relationship problems would be much better off spending the money on some therapy."
This is in definite contrast with the all too regular sales pitch to women about why chastity is a good idea. Over and over we hear about the "reformed, attentive & loving husband" claims... A perfect example is this chastitymansion.com forum thread.
"Before you embark on considering putting your man in a chastity device, you need to ask yourself the following questions. Are you unhappy with how much attention he now pays to you? Do you think that at least part of the problem is that he is paying too much attention to pornography or other women? Has he admitted to you that he masturbates too much? Would you be willing to give up intercourse, if you got a lot more attention including a lot more oral sex? Do you recognize that you too have also let your relationship dwindle over time as he has grown more distant? Are you willing to take control and put in the effort to make your relationship work in a new and exciting way? If yes, you should consider chastity for your husband."Ok... here's my two cents on it. When someone in the chastity scene mentions the idea that my wife might take more interest in putting me in chastity if she found I was "better behaved" when locked - they are simply wrong.
That just isn't the key that fits our lock. And just as there is no one perfect chastity device to fit every man, there is no one perfect result, or even line of reasoning about why to enter it. I've found that there is no simple black and white in the grown up world.
In fact, that line of reasoning could not be more incorrect for us. As it stands now, my wife actually feels a bit guilty about how much I do around the house as it is. I work from home, I'm by far the cleaner of the two of us. I do probably 95% of the housework - no, I don't have a maid's uniform... So being "better behaved" isn't it at all. Heck, I can't remember the last time she put a load of laundry in the wash.So, although I'm not as opposed, (offended?) by the concept of by the whole "make a better husband through chastity" as Tom is - I definitely see where he's coming from. The idea that a piece of metal or plastic or anything that small can "fix" a relationship is more than just silly, it's degrading, heck folks, it's even sexist.
I will clarify however, that I look at a partner who takes interest in their lover's life (whether it's chastity, or cooking, or gardening, or golf - the subject doesn't matter) that is being thoughtful and loving. And as we all like attention and support, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see some men to be more attentive and loving in return.
But it's not because of a piece of metal or plastic or silicon. It's is because of the power that held in the act of loving. For my own life, I strive to demonstrate that as often as I can, and I try to be cognizant of when it's their - and show just how much I appreciate it when she takes the time and puts in the effort to make it happen.
Remember, real relationships often take a bit of compromise.
Sorry about that, I couldn't help it.