We all know the story of Cinderella. Or the story of Cinderfella, (which is about a small corset, and the whole forced TV thing) just in case you were curious. Yet in spite of that childhood lesson we all got, I find it simply amazing how so many of us totally forgot it. The thing is, that shoe, that high heeled glass pump, (or Cinderfella's corset), just doesn't fit everyone. And what's more, it doesn't need to.
In case you aren't aware, I'll let you in on something, each person's kink is the same way. Even when you're into a specific fetish, I promise there are sub-divisions of it, and those groups still don't quite fit that way. As a group of men who enjoy female dominants and strapon play what their ideal style is. Is their ideal mistress rough and ruthless? Is she gentle and loving? Are they fully transformed? Is it about trying to fit a tree trunk in their ass? Is it humiliating? Is it about preparing for a "real man" or is it simply dominating? I've seen the 'ideal' described all of those ways.But I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised when yesterday, I shared here and on FetLife about my emotional roller coaster ride. I don't think I whined. I don't even think I was complaining. I thought I was sharing... ya know, babbling.
I was hoping to share some of how I felt as another example of a man who has sought chastity play and now felt a bit in over his head - and I definitely do think that's a bit hot. And I think it's a bit of the point of chastity play. But I didn't expect some of these replies I got at FetLife. I guess I can't be surprised, but it is comic that they were all from people who call themselves slaves & subs! There were several replies from folks telling me, and even more amazingly... my WIFE how we should play. How special is that!
To be clear, I didn't ask anyone for suggestions on how I should feel about it, I didn't ask for feedback about what my wife should do. I was just sharing what was going on with me, after going through my 2nd longest period of chastity - having been denied twice. And yet, this group of subs felt compelled to shove their glass slipper on my foot and tell me it should feel comfortable.
And to think of how much we all hate being judged and persecuted, then we go and treat each other like this? How hypocritical is that? Sometimes it's easy for me to remember why so many of us are single in the scene. Saying that there are "no good dommes/subs" in the world.
Hey, finding someone who your kinks match to is not easy. I get that. I've lived it. Being loving, and understanding, and accepting, and supportive, and open-minded, and forgiving, and unselfish, and patient is tough sometimes. When every ounce of blood in my privates screams for FORCE ME TO EAT THAT ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM WITH CHOCOLATE SYRUP ON A SPINNING PLATE NOW!!! Ummm, *cough* please, Mistress? Yah, sometimes its tough to remember that she might not like spinning plates, or chocolate syrup, or even rocky road.
And it is all totally ok.But don't go shoving your idea of what the glass slipper should look like, or how it should fit, or how long you have to walk in them in your fantasy world down other people's throats. That's not how grown ups deal with each other in life, kids.
Most people after they start to learn a modicum about kink realize that there is no "wrong" way to play, but it seems to take many folks much longer to get past the ignorant presumption that their way is the right way.And who the hell ever thought a glass heel was hot? I guess it must have been some foot fetishist. Seeing those toes all jammed up into the tip... do you think they should they be painted? Red? Black? French pedi? And just how high are those heels by the way?

Too bad they weren't locked on like Cinderfella's are. That would've kept Cinderella from losing one as she fled - but then again, wouldn't have had much of a story now would we?
7 comments:
Is it okay if I don't tell you how you or your wife should feel or act?
"_If it were done as a punishment thing, or an encouragement thing it'd be hot, but damn... I really find it hard._"
This is often the most difficult part for me. The situation itself sounds hot *when you're not in the middle of it*, but when it's happening to you, at the time it can be frustrating, only not in the yummy, good way.
I dont' know about you, but we have periods in which we get very caught up in our various projects, work, church, clubs, household things, and end up not being intimate for weeks. Being locked up during one of those periods can be daunting because you don't have the little bit of personal attention to help mitigate the frustration.
Sorry I didn't weigh in with some snarky comment, or with some "advice" for your GODDESS. I guess I'm just not a real player.
Tom, thanks for the remark. And you're definitely right - there's a big difference between reading about something or fantasizing about about something, and actually living something.
And you're a real player in my book ;)
Hi Aarkey:
Boy can I relate to this post!!! I always say there is no right way to do this!! I will never forget the guy on the life style board who advised me that I should stop "inflicting" my need to play on Her Majesty. I should only do things she wanted to do when and how she wanted to do them and if I didn't I wasn't a real sub! Funny thing was I showed her one of his posts where he gave his wife a tantric tongue massage for like 27 hours and she told me flat out she could tell it was all a big fat lie!!! Ha ha ha!! I can't stand people who tell me how Her Majesty and I should run our show. Nothing is guaranteed to turn me off more quickly than "well meaning advice" of that nature!
But who doesn't like Rocky Road? ;-)
Aarkey,
I agree that many of the comments on FL were tough.
In the past you have pointed out the difference between a slave and a switch. Although both may be involved in the same BDSM activities, their perceptions will be as different as their roles.
In the spirit of "My kink is ok and so is yours," I can understand the slave/sub comments. Many of them have been locked up for months with no input about being unlocked. In addition, many have not been locked up but wish they had a Key Holder to keep them in chastity. Although you were trying to share your experience, this group of frustrated, locked, or wannabee locked, subbies and slaves might have interpreted it differently. Their frustration clearly came out in their posts and that is unfortunate.
Personally, I would never tell anyone how they or their partners should behave. The best that I can do is empathize and offer advice, which I am happy to do if I think it might help.
Take the high ground my friend. Don't be too hard on the subbies and slaves who did not show you the same consideration.
If you feel the need to share in the future, you have the email address of a simple slave who has been there and done that when it comes to chastity (I always hate it when people refer to 24/7/365 chastity as "play"). I think that you might find a more sympathetic and understanding audience, after all: I still owe you a lot for your past help.
Respectfully,
slave2MN
HMP: I forget how brutish the FLR forums can be. Not everyone there is blind to variations beyond their scene, but far more than even on the average kinkster forum.
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Slave2MN: Good point. It is quite possible that many of them are in much more of a 24/7/365 lockup situation, and as such they might lack any understanding for those of us who aren't.
I definitely found this experience much different than the ones in the past, and though I'm a relative short timer, I find that at the 4 or 5 day mark, the frustration really is all encompassing. When I went 12 days, it actually started to become easier to stay locked - though once the teasing was going on, it was brutal. Deliciously brutal ;)
Well, If it was me, I ....
You know what you should ....
If this had been .....
Yadda, Yadda?
PateInduced, wait a sec... were you going to should on me! :P
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