Mindsets

I had a brief, but interesting exchange the other day with HMP regarding some of the ups and downs in establishing an occasional D/s dynamic and mood within a generally traditional relationship.

Sometimes I fear that I give the erroneous impression to all of you who read this. While I try to focus on the positives, I do not live this spectacularly D/s switchy fetish lifestyle. Compared to many out there, I'm sure that I do - but our life definitely isn't a day to day fetish event. When it happens, or doesn't happen - the communication to keep it going takes a significant effort for both of us. There's no simple way to go from the day to day grind of working, cooking, cleaning, picking up pet poop, reading and signing 21 pages of documents and jumping into a world that is a smoking hot fetish firestorm of canes, corsets and chastity.

The more and more I think that creating the environment and mindset for it is the single trickiest part. Stepping into the fantasy world from the real one is something that can require a significant effort. I'm sure everyone who's played more than a few times knows about this. It's much like the way that I've read many Pro dommes say "I won't play angry" - when in my old novice sub mindset the idea of an actually angry domme unleashing fury was the hottest of hot... the reality is something different. Though I do hope that with time and effort, that a we can create a certain amount of conditioning of that makes it easier. I know of couples where the simple act of putting on a collar just changes the entire tone of the relationship in an instant.

Until that's well ingrained, if we're going to go "there" it can take a moment or two to set the mood. And sometimes moments can last days. For me, that's where the little day to day type things can help bring me into the mental state where I'm ready for the moment to happen. If I've been in my chastity belt for a few days, all it takes is a little nudge and I'm right off the sub-space cliff, but that doesn't mean that my Ms. is just as ready to step into the water.

As it stands, we're working on it. And talking about it. And testing the waters as we get there. A simple change of venue can be a big plus. Ever taken a night and had a mini-vacation at a hotel in the next town over? It's the same type of thing. Some people benefit and feel like they're not in the "day to day" world when the walls of their environment change.

For me, it is often as simple as wearing a chastity belt, or panties and heels. Even if I'm at my usual desk, my whole mindset is different. I'm already half way there... but not everyone is like me. I'm sure it'd be a boring place if everyone was, but corsets would definitely be mandatory ;)

There's a fine line to it all though. I believe more and more that too much fantasy can be a bad thing. There are definitely men who bury themselves in so much porn that they forget the reality. And then what's life becomes a disappointment - an ongoing & nagging failure to live up to the fantasy.

Is it unreasonable to ask for a bit of fantasy in your day to day? I sure hope not. If it is wrong, I'm doomed. On the other hand, is it fair to expect every woman to look like she fell out of your fantasy every single minute of every single day? Probably not. It wouldn't be any fairer for her to expect you to always say the right thing with your 6 pack abs showing on your hairless chest, now would it?

BTW since when did men become hairless? I manscape and trim, but no hair at all??? Its just weird. Except for balls, hair there is ick.

Earth Hour

Not to get too far off topic, but I thought this was a good enough reason for me to get all tree huggy hippy on ya.

Tonight at 8:30PM local time, wherever you live is "Earth Hour" - find out more about what that means at earthhour.org

*Caw*

I was going to title this "Birdlock Conclusion" but based on my earlier entry's title, that seemed a bit stiff *cough* Alas, the birdlock has left the building - well, technically it's packed up to go. It simply was not meant to be.

Interestingly enough, in spite of it not working for me at all, am quite impressed with the device. The issue for me is simply that the base ring of it is too wide, and too small. I had read that the consensus was that for men who had "size" issues with the CB#### style that the birdlock wouldn't fix it, however I considered my size issue with the those were generally minimal.

Ya know... I never thought that I'd write so specifically about something like this... anyway, the various base ring sizes of the CB#### allowed significantly more room than the base of the birdlock. Yes, the silicon does stretch, however it wants to be about the same general diameter of the medium sized ring - though it's a slightly and better shape than the almost perfectly circular CB base. Looking at the comparison image I suspect you can see exactly where the issue is - and yes Tom, I was wearing it correctly ;)

The base is not only smaller, but over 3x as wide. And that makes the smaller size a really more dramatic issue. Hopefully the designers birdlocked.com will continue to release more variations to the design. I definitely think there is real potential here - but there are real opportunities for improvements too.

Anyway, I think *CAW* is the perfect title. Especially if you've ever seen Harvey Birdman - the best cartoon ever.

OT: Slow Puppy Tossing

From my sister...

Rockin' tune too.

Legend of the Seeker IV - Mistress Denna returns

Jessica Marais has returned as Mistress Denna in this past week's episode - Bloodlines of Legend of the Seeker.
It's not as long an appearance as her first was, but it's still got a good 10 minutes of her leather clad domme glory. The megaupload version of these video clips doesn't show it, but the episode starts with her being punished for her earlier failure. Her arms are bound above her, and she is wearing only two very thin pieces of leather - one around her chest and the other is a mini-wrap. And it's clear she's every bit of a happy switch, at least that's the way I call it ;)
It's up on hulu.com, but if you can't watch it there, "Furball" has graciously made it available for download in two different places - Megaupload & Rapidshare: Part 1 & Part 2.

For more discussion visit Kinky Gerlinky.

Oh, and call me crazy, but I think her corset is a little tighter in this episode than in the last one. There aren't any high quality shots that show her corset from this episode that I've found, but a few times she turned around it definitely looked a bit more snug. And *THAT* is usually - but not always a good thing ;)

*Chirp* *Squaaaaaaaak*

This morning I got birdlocked for the first time, though not for long. As I mentioned recently, Mistress Saskia graciously ordered me one from birdlocked.com. It arrived Saturday, and my fiancee wanted me to put it on today so we could see how it worked.

After just getting into it I think that the material is a huge step forward for comfort in chastity - though the one size fits all is not going to work. The silicon has give in it, but not a lot. And the base ring was not only a nightmare to get into - perhaps in large part because I'm not a fan of pressure on my testicles to start with. And although I am definitely not one of the "high and tight" testicle sac guys, by the time I'd squeezed the buddies through, and then got my penis in there - (and the base ring is actually about 2x as wide as one of the CB base rings) - things were very restricted. It didn't hurt, but it was quite tight. Then threading the tether underneath to slide the lock system in (which separated my testes) things got even tighter.

The bottom line is that it is too tight. :(

When I went to the bathroom for the first time, about 10 minutes after getting into the belt, my testicles were totally cold, turning purple. I showed my fiancee and I was ordered out of the belt. That goes on the record as my shortest chastity lock up, and as she didn't direct me further, I'm going to spend the day free.

Upside:
I definitely think that they're on to something with the birdlocked though. And I suspect if they make a larger one I might give it a try again. The short time I was locked verified what I suspected, the belt is going to be far more comfortable for those who fit into it than anything else out there. The security vs comfort equation is up for the improvement too. I don't think the security is any worse than it was with the pull out issues for the CB#### styles - in fact I think it might be a bit better, since the material bends it might make pulling out a bit tougher - assuming you fill it all out fully.

It also was a much lower profile in clothes. I never had a big issue with the way the CB#### looks in pants, but I suspect that the birdlocked will be much better for wearing day in day out, without any real need to buy new pants with more room etc. Plus for those who think that everyone is looking at your crotch, it will reduce the paranoia that they'll know you are in chastity and a total perv. ;)

Downside:
Aside from the obvious size issue, the silicon is tacky. I think that might be a big plus for security and to prevent shifting/sliding during wearing (if you fill it completely) but if you don't fill things completely then you might get a slow and steady friction rub to remove those pesky top few layers of skin. I've read some stories already, and well... that doesn't sound like fun. It happens in the CB#### styles too, but with the tacky surface I suspect this might be worse.

Next, the lock system is crap. The locking pin hole is set for the lock is smaller than most regular locks around - so your pretty master lock won't fit into it. I'm sure you can drill it larger, but it's a very small pin so that might be a big pain in the butt. Birdlocked does supply you with a lock, but it's a crappy lock. It was very tough to actually close, and it seems almost like it's intentionally got sharp edges all over - which is just what we don't want near our privates, at least not day in day out. The holes in the device seem like they might be an issue over time, just the way that the holes in the other ones are. Yet the most important hole at the tip, is just too small. Ok, I'm a bit to the left and twisted - not a lot or anything, but I never frickin line up by default. However that hole is the one really important hole in the device, they really should have given it a smidgen more room.

Summary:
While it is a good idea and introduces some real positives, this is definitely not for everyone - at least not yet. The designers have already demonstrated that they're up for listening to the community (and released a smaller version pretty soon after the original) - maybe they'll make enough money that further variations will be possible. If I've had any issue with the CB#### line it's the failure to offer alternatives. A wider shaft for the 6000 line would make all the difference in the world. But for now, it's just another one of those fantasy is better than the reality things.

Either way, I'm really glad we're seeing more competition out there for the chastity market in more comfortable and affordable devices. It was just 150 years ago that women were fully expected to wear a corset every day. Perhaps 150 years from now, a man in his chastity belt will be de rigeur - hey... a guy can dream, can't he?

Wow... CNN, I didn't know you had it in you.

What do you think that CNN says is at the top of things that a hubby wants that he doesn't say - 'Take charge in bed'. You have to scroll down to the 2nd bold point on that page.

(What men think) - We know that sex often feels like a chore on your to-do list. And because we also know that there are a lot of chores on that list (many of which we do our best to avoid), we end up lobbing a lot of sexual softballs in your direction knowing that most of them won't be in your sexual strike zone. But after a while, all that pitching starts to wear us down.

Sex may feel like a chore to you, but always having to be the one to initiate it starts to feel like a responsibility to us. And the last thing we need is more responsibility.

Maybe it's a function of how dads are genetically wired, but we can't look into our children's little eyes without seeing visions of college tuitions, spring breaks, trips abroad, and the little Picasso who's going to grow up to be a starving artist.

Even if these are years away, it feels like they're right around the corner. The sense of long-term pressure and responsibility keeps us up at night, which gets us thinking about sex (since we happen to be up already).

So please, we'd love it if you'd surprise us by coming on to us. Get naughty with us, talk dirty, tell us a secret fantasy. Tell us you had a "sexy dream" last night. That'll do the trick. You can act all bashful if you want, but when we ask you to tell us more (and we will), describe how you threw us down on the bed and made us your love slave.

-----

You know what I say? They're right on the mark. Now, how long til they start putting a focus into chastity?

Geek Terms: "Epic Win" or "Epic Fail"

In geek terms when something is really really good, you know... absolutely top notch awesome, it's called an "Epic Win." And a perfect example of this is Silence of the Lambs: The Musical


Now, if something is still quite good, but not really really good, then it can be "a win" or "full of win" - something like the Star Trek Corset is full of win. If it were of a higher quality fabric... something sheen like satin, with a stronger boning for tighter lacing, and maybe came in all the colors - well then it might be epic.

I feel it's important to mention that Ms. Regan's birthday is coming up and I can't think of any woman who would be more appropriate or lovely in a Star Trek corset. I'm not sure if she would be more appropriate in a yellow or blue one, since she's talented as a Dom, but she's also definitely a geek. So is the right color yellow for administration, or blue for sciences? I believe she identified herself as a most like Spock in her thinking. Either way, if any of you readers aren't feeling too pinched by the markets, I would be much obliged if you contacted her via her site and got her a Star Trek b-day corset, because that would be an epic win for all :D

On the other side of this coin is the Epic Fail. Just like with the win, there are more minor fails. Rolling over your own foot with your chair (I did that about 15 mins ago) is definitely a fail. Sending an e-mail to the wrong person, is a fail. Sending an e-mail complaining about your boss is an epic fail. If you fail in front of a group of people - or you have others failing along side you then you might want to get aboard the "Fail Boat" - the rallying call for that is "All aboard the fail boat!"

However, a big enough fail is an epic fail. Today I was reminded of this. The "He is to blame" channel has committed an epic fail. The programming idiots at Lifetime decided to take Fran Drescher's uber hotness "The Nanny" off the schedule. On the mornings when I'd have some extra free time to get ready I'd sit back, manscape my bits and drink some coffee while enjoying their back to back Nanny hour. It usually made me a very happy fetishist. My fiancee could mock me all she wanted, but Fran in those outfits = HOTNESS! Plus, she's a rampant HoH'r - (that's Hand on Hip for those of you who are new here). Since she evidently had a natural 22" waist, a bit of HoH would definitely emphasize it.
It was never about the plot, and maybe it's the fact that I was born in Manhattan and raised in North Jersey, but the over the top nasal accent never phased me for a second. Removal of the Nanny? That's an epic fail for the Lifetime network. I guess they didn't have enough shows about how awful and evil all men are. Actually that's not fair. It seems that gay men or fat and funny men aren't evil. All other men however, are EXTREMELY suspect.
Still want more examples of fail? Visit failblog.org

RIP Ms. Richardson

Assuming you read the news you are already aware of what's happened - if not, read the CNN link at the bottom.

Normally I just shrug when I hear about a celeb passing - but I'm really stunned by this. I don't know exactly why this one has really surprised me. Natasha was a rare celeb, especially for one of the "celebrity royalty." She never had any big exciting drama in her personal life. She seemed to be happily and quietly married, with two teen age sons. As best I could tell, she was a class act - a beautiful woman in every way. And maybe it's just the suddenness of it all. Or maybe because the last time I went skiing it was at Mont Tremblant. Maybe it is because I never ever wore, nor would wear a helmet, and because I've knocked myself out cold when skiing. I don't know. But to hit your head hard enough during a lesson... on the beginner slope, and die from it? As a healthy 45 year old? I am just stunned. Her family must be crushed. :(
My response to this news has been far out of proportion compared to my normal detachment when I hear pretty much anything a celeb does. It is not like I know them or anything, Lindsay hasn't returned my phone calls for months now! Some BFF she is!

I know almost nothing about her life, but I do know that she was a beautiful woman and an IRL smoker and appeared in 11 films that way. Most smoking fetishists feel disappointed about her, especially after the film - Waking Up in Reno - though that is largely because of expectations. Before the movie's release, both she and Charlize Theron had promo shots of them smoking 120s in the movie, and Penelope Cruz smoked in it too - but then it came out, and the film is just an exercise in frustration for a smoking fetishist; with barely any actual smoking in the movie. And what there is in the film is filmed terribly - stupid non-fetishist editors! Interestingly enough though, Ms. Richardson always smoked all whites, and at least 100s in any role - which I definitely noticed; but other than that, most everything I know about her I learned this week. I just figured I'd share the few pics I have up as a little tribute to a Ms. Richardson.

Here's 75 screen captures of her with Elizabeth McGovern from 1990's The Handmaiden's Tale - 5.84 MB HandmaidenTale.zip sharebee file. Overall the movie was very mediocre film (I think it simply was biting off too much to try to do that book in 2 hours) - but there were a couple of scenes that were some good fantasy inspiring stuff.

With that said, I hope you rest in peace Ms. Richardson. My condolences to all those who knew you. Here is her CNN obit.

Models, in their natural habitat

I'm crazy busy, but I could not stop from sharing this. If you find images of models in their natural habitat interesting, this forum link is a must see. Since nicotine is one of the major food staples of the model species, there are bound to be lots of models smoking anytime you stumble upon a grouping of them in the wild.
So if you love smoking model shots, especially candid pictures, then you really should take some time and mine through this message board thread 2,000+ posts - with an insane amount of info and pics.
Thanks TheFashionSpot.com!
Anyone want to be a helpful fetishist and sort through all of the different models on this blog page and submit them for listing in the smokingsides.com database?

Legend of the Seeker III - More Mord'Sith

Yet another appearance of lovely leather clad dommes in Legend of the Seeker - though this was more minor, and not as victoriously dommy as the Episode 8's deliciously dommy Mistress Denna.
Thanks to underheel at KinkyGerlinky forums for the heads up, and video uploads. Download the videos as a single zip file here:
Filename: LotS-S1-E15-Mord.zip - Sharebee Link 6.43MB

For more information about it, Legend of the Seeker - S1:Ep15 "Conversion" - Official Episode Guide & IMDB info.

If anyone can ID the two women who play the characters please e-mail me so I can add that. I can't find who they are anywhere, and the only character names that I found which I'm not sure who they played, are actresses Jennifer Rucker & Catherine Stephen - as "Emma & Laura Brandstone." They have other appearances on the series which makes me think it's not them - plus something tells me that these two Mord'Sith aren't supposed to be sisters. Well, maybe they are sisters of the "cloth" - even if that cloth is actually leather ;)

If you want to see it all, you can watch it at Hulu.com - link

Future Tech

OT: Not kinky at all, but since I'm geeking out I figured I'd share this. The first few minutes of this are interesting, the last few minutes are mind blowing.

Star Trek Corsets

In my last entry, which included some Star Trek fan fic, I was reminded of some pictures I've been meaning to share. Now, as far as I know the only actual person in Star Trek who's ever worn a corset is Jeri Ryan. And while she looked lovely in it - I have to sadly report that she was able to convince the costume department to loosen her corset and lower her heels each season as the show progressed. Over the years her costume went from the sassy silver (video), to a behaved blue and ultimately into an almost boring brown. Now, it's not that Jeri ever needed a corset. Her figure was awesome without one, but as any regular reader of this blog knows, I feel that pretty much any woman in a corset goes up a notch. Even if they already have an awesome figure, in a corset they're just awesomer.
Now, being a good (and greedy) fetishist, I'd have hoped that as she got more accustomed to the corset, and the way it alters her body's movement, that she would've been willing to lace a little smaller in progressive seasons - that has occasionally happened ya know. It's not entirely fantasy - but as these images show, over the course of the series, Jeri's corset became a corselette, and eventually just a girdle. In fairness, the original corset was not only pretty tight, but it was also a very long corset. This image shows how far up and down the corset actually extended.
The good news is that although Jeri wasn't super inclined to stay corsetted for Star Trek - she did inspire others. And no, I'm not talking about William Shatner wearing a girdle in the Star Trek movies, and hair piece too. I'm talking about corsetiere, Evening Arwen, at Etsy.com, who has made a Star Trek inspired corset!
Now, not to be a stinker, but the corset looks pretty casual. Not that it won't give you a bit of yummy lift and squeeze, but it's clearly not designed for tight lacing. And although the model is very cute, as one of my friends mentioned - she's got more va-va and voom than most models. So, I gave her corset laces a bit of cyber tugging and a little Photoshoppin' here and there. All with the goal that the corset lines were more to my liking. *wink*

In case you can't see all of what I did to it, take a peek at the comparison image. I thought about trying to make it a gold (administration) or blue (science) color, but that was too much work, so I settled on giving her a bit of matching red lipstick ;)

Oh, and in case you weren't aware, they're releasing a new Star Trek "Original Series" cast film in May. It looks insane. I'm doing my best not to watch any previews for it (since every damned movie preview these days insists on showing you the entire film reduced to 60 seconds.) I'll definitely see it the opening weekend, and I can't tell you the last time I did that for a movie. But I'm an old school Trekkie. I like when the Klingon's were bad guys and the women were in go-go boots and skirts and if they were green - that just made other women jealous. Anyone who is a fan of "TNG" (The Next Generation) isn't a real Trekkie. They're just tree hugging posers. That's not my opinion, it's a fact. And that's all the blog that's fit to write! :P

Busy Busy Busy

Ya know... I screwed up. First, as soon as I said I was going to give you a daily distraction if I had nothing more to put up... I turned this blog into a bit of a chore. It's not you... it's me. Then folks keep sending me links to stories I might find interesting, that I've often already linked to in the blog - don't get me wrong for a second, I love the suggestions. I over work these things. Too many links, too many pictures, too much work. Some of these entries have 20 sub-links, and well that's a bit ADHD/OCD/WTF?OMG! ya know?

And then a few folks I respect sent me e-mails (or made posts) about the fact that the blog was perhaps degenerating into a *fap* fest - and if that's all my readers wanted then I'd rather they just use one of the sites out there for it. There are folks with lots more energy than I have for fapping, and I guess that's proof enough I'm growing up. Oh, and statistically it seems you guys are most fascinated with chastity and corsets. My whole smoking fetish is a side bit I guess now that there is so much content for smoking fetishists. I guess if that's what they want, they can find it elsewhere - and that's all a-ok. I already had my day in the sun as a leader in that community - and it is always nice to be remembered ;)

So, what's going on... well, I went away to Mardi Gras, barely caught my breath - had a visit from my Aunt (and wow we miss her) and then I went to the Honda Classic to watch some golfers beat on a course that beats me up, and then it was off for the wedding. And during all of that I got a new bare bones PC setup and had hoped to move my HDs over, but the HD I got from a friend didn't work so I had to scrap and do everything clean - which for a computer geek means a lot of work. Oh and we've put a bid in on a house (it's a short sale, and no response on it) and I built and ark and had 8 kids... ok, I'm getting a bit carried away... either way, you get the idea ;)

Now that things are a bit more settled, the newest kink news for me is that there is a Birdlocked coming to my Casa. Graciously gifted to me by Mistress Saskia - all hail, The Great and Powerful Sozz!

I've had mixed feelings about the birdcage since I first saw it - birdlocked.com. I love, and I mean frickin absolutely love, that there's a new affordable belt out there. Something that looks like it has real promise. In the month or so that it's been out, I've gotten to read some reviews. Responses, as always, are mixed. The flexibility of the silicon is the biggest plus, and for many it makes sleeping through much more manageable - though most say that if size is the underlying issue for the CB-3000/6000 for you then it's likely still going to be the same problem.

Personally, my biggest issue with the thing is that as soon as I saw it I thought it looked ugly. It reminded me of the Snorks - though I'm old enough that it took me a while to remember the name of the cartoon.

Either way - I guess I'll find out for myself soon enough. And it couldn't be too soon. I've been in my belt a great deal more lately. At one point, I had spent 7 of 9 days locked up in the last couple of weeks. Graciously, my love let me out for some fun the day before I had to head up to West Palm for a wedding. If not, I'd have been on day 5 of lockup at the wedding, and I'm sure with my fiancee looking all hot and all the women in their *click click* high heels, and then the mother of the bride grabbing me by the tie and telling me to get my cute butt where it needed to be for pictures. *fluster*

I'm glad I'd been let out mercifully before that, because I probably would've been drooling in the pictures otherwise. And then I got locked right back up again the day we got home. *dreamy sigh*

It's an interesting balance. I've learned not to *need* the full authority, hand on hips glaring down watch and make sure that I'm locked and demand the key from me in a forceful manner - in order to go into the belt happily. Just a little acknowledgment goes far enough now. It's weird. I'm not sure where that transition happened - and don't get me wrong, I still *want* the full treatment, I'm just much less disappointed when I don't get it.

Oh, one little side note about affordable chastity belt designs: No offense to Mistress Jenny @ badpenis.com - but those exobelt models just don't give me any confidence in their design. I just think that this new design has much greater potential. Yes, it looks like it will have the same pull out issue, but the company has already impressed the community by releasing colored versions in response to demand (pink was added, they already did black & glow in the dark) - and now they've made a shortened version (special orders) - hopefully they'll respond to a longer version if needed, or some other modifications that we'll certainly come up with. If the Millers with the CB-2/3/6/curve line had made more variations they really could have permanently owned this market.

To see something this professionally made - well, it just says to me that men in chastity is not only getting more acceptance, but it's market is growing. And in my pervy mind, that's proof positive that there is hope for a more femdom future.

And for some early reviews on the birdlock - read these two threads: chastitymansion.com & malechastityforum.com

Daily Distractin #9 - Oh that Jean-Luc!

Tootsie Teasing Tuesday

Well, it appears that the news today is all about stilettos. First, one of the hottest high heel picture sets I've seen ever shows up on the Kinky Gerlinky Forums. These two teaser images are from the set. Not only does she have on some outrageously hot and high spike heels, and have some of the hottest legs I've seen in a while, but I wonder if any of you hard core fetishists out can guess who it is from these "tease the fetishists" style tats on her tootsies?

Next, my fiancee just started watching a new reality series that she recorded called "Running in Heels" on the Style TV network.

It's about a group of interns on the Marie Claire magazine staff and well... it's a clear knock off of Devil Wears Prada. And if you haven't seen it, and you like Anne Hathaway, it's well worth a look. Even if only for the leather pants and stiletto boots transformation outfit. Overall it's a fun movie, and Meryl Streep plays such a ruthless bitch... if you are into that "I can't ever please her" kinda thing dominatrix, it's hot for that too.

Any way, on the show, it seems like every time they cut to a new scene it starts off focused on the spiked shoes and then they slowly pans to show who's wearing those heels - like she's secondary to the scene. I suspect that this show much cause a few pervs out there to suffer heart attacks - watch it at your own risk ;)

If you want to see the full shoot of that celeb, it's here: KG Linky