Cupcakes!

What exactly is "it"

For each of us it varies. There is no doubt about that. Heck, "it" changes too. I know that personally. Hitting the button, the magic spot, the extra points, the triple word score... For a fetishist "it" can become layers and layers deep.

Frankly, we're really a pain in the ass. Wait, let me own that - "I can be a pain in the ass." And not a good well paddled kinda pain (or caned, or single tailed, whatever your "it" may be.)

Recently I had to chuckle to myself while reading a forum thread about strapon videos at hentai-femdom.com. One poster said that the hottest strapon videos are where the woman is gentle - caressing his back, talking to him, all soft.... and slow.... and sensual. That's his "it".

And then a just few posts further below, another fellow says "I love when he is clearly in pain from the strapon, and she's smiling and doesn't care - and she just keeps pounding him with no mercy, slapping him with a riding crop or her gloved hand, and he's on his back - his legs up over his head... and he is totally humiliated, and then he can't help it and cums in his own face! That's what his "it" is.

And to imagine that there are women out there who say that guys are easy to figure out!

FWIW - I'm somewhere in the middle of those it's btw ;)

Perverts are... normal?

Normal??? That's almost insulting! Maybe we can say "reasonably well adjusted" instead?

What's more is we seem to be relatively happy compared to the rest of the population, at least in Australia. All of this is according to my mom. No, seriously... it is all based on a study of 20,000 Australians by public health researchers at the University of NSW: article 1 - article 2.

I'm pretty sure NSW is "New South Wales" - not to be confused with NSFW, which is "Not Safe For Work" - like this blog. If you get caught looking at normal pervy stuff, it might get you in trouble. Oh, and NSFW has never meant "No Shit FuckWad" - though I always thought it could have meant that in another universe somewhere.

Chastity FAQ - Updated

Well, it was time to finally unveil the updated Chastity FAQ that I've been working on. It was overdue, as the old FAQ was overly focused on the CB-3000 - and that isn't the latest and greatest anymore. Additionally the scope of my chastity knowledge is broader, so it was just a matter of finding time to update.

So, without further ado - I now present the: "Chastity Device FAQ"

What's that have to do with the picture on the left? Well nothing aside from her character name is Chastity, and she's very hot.

How very photoshoppable

Last month, this pic of Evangeline Lilly in a poorly laced corset was posted on "LISA" - the Long Island Staylace web site. Thomas, LISA's owner remarked "Tighten up a bit! Geez! No waist! Might as well be wearing a camisole!"

Frankly I agreed with him. If you are going to dress a woman as lithe and lovely as Ms. Lilly in a corset, it should be better fitting than that. Plus since she's already got the "HoH" thing going - so, I took it upon myself to lace her in a bit tighter. Of course, like any good corset fetishist (especially a tight-lacing fan) ... Thomas said he still would've liked it tighter on her still. Unfortunately, there is only so far I could take it before it starts to become easily identified as a fake. Though corset pics are generally easy to photoshop a little smaller ;)

What's particularly interesting is the timing of this. Since I did that retouch, two other nice fakes of Evangeline have shown up. First a sassy PVC maid outfit - which I then tweaked a little, since the eyes were too green, and the jaw line was too strong.. And then another of her in a sassy black latex catsuit and corset. I guess there's more than a few folks out there who think she's pretty photo shoppable. Of course it'd just be easier if she'd dress this way for us ya know ;)

Some things for lifestylers, and fetishists

Fasten your garter belts, I've got multiple items to report:

First up, Recovery in the Lifestyle is a group of "BDSM" lifestyle people & guests who are "in recovery" or would like to be. It is based on the 12 Steps of Recovery and recognizes that anonymity is most important for us all. The three regular meetings are in South Florida, but we're hoping the fellowship grows all over. It's AA approved, and the web site has all the information needed to start up a group. Plus, we try to have a meeting at any conferences that our members attend. So far, reception has been great in the community - IMO it's an awesome resource, one of those rare places where I can share all parts of me.

We are however working on a logo. It's tough to find something that says "recovery" and "lifestyle" without looking like some other group's logo, is just really awkward looking, or comes off as fahbulashly gaaaaay two snaps in a circle! Anyway, whenever we get a logo agreed on, you can be sure that I'll definitely announce it here ;)

Lastly, but not leastly... actually maybe it is leastly since it won't find you love or save your life - a kinky calendar for 2009. The Corset Calendar - "Waist Wards" by photographer Christian Ritter is damned sexy. Perhaps not quite as dramatic as last year's black & white one - "i smoke" - but on the other hand, no one ever asked a person to take off the their corset because of the risk of second hand corsetting. Hrm. I wonder if that'd work ;)

Fantasy & Reality - Pt. II

Aka: "Privacy vs Freedom vs Responsibility"

A recent post on the Hang that linked to a TV report about a teacher at the University of New Mexico got me thinking. The teacher had been featured on the local PEP (People Exchanging Power) web site. Now, if that were the end of the story, I'd think very simply, good for her. But that's not the end of the story.

She was shown in a picture with a graduate student of hers. It is clear that the student was "adult" age. Either way, that's a big blur in the line of if the photo and relationship are inappropriate. And there have been a couple different blogs out there that have argued it one way or another about right and wrong. And I suspect everyone has their own opinions on it. And here's mine. There is one important thing about my beliefs on the subject, I believe that: If a person can (or might ever in the future) have any kind of impact, or authority in a school (or work place) environment over another person, then I consider romance between them to be inappropriate. The sexes and ages of the people involved in the situation does not matter one bit about making it an appropriate relationship.

Now, I want to start by saying that I have a lot of respect for the PEP folks. They seem really sincere. Genuine kinksters interested in growing our freedom within the lifestyle. People who care about people, and care about kink. And they're also pretty available to the general population as best I can tell. They're a bit out front on the whole thing, and I can respect that. If kinksters and "lifestylers" really want more freedom to be themselves, then someone's got to step up to the plate and push for it. And PEP is a group that isn't afraid to do that. Though it appears that PEP isn't focused on that, PEP seems focused on educating people about the scene and networking first and foremost. Either way, I really respect PEP. But, it's my opinion that sharing the photo which initiated all of this attention was a mistake. I think it was irresponsible, for several reasons. Being open is different than flaunting it. There is a responsibility that I think any teacher has with their job. And to show naked pictures playing together on the site, well... sometimes I wonder if folks take time to think things through.

So, somehow the director of the professor's department found the site. Obviously had to bring it before the school, the school investigated. They reported that "The investigation determined that Chavez had not exerted undue influence on these students, that the student involvement was consensual." So the teacher kept teaching. The department head resigned in protest - which I think is a bit much, but not really all that over the top.

You see, IMO (as you hopefully already know) I think that if the student (graduate student over 18 or 21 doesn't matter to me) was in the teacher's class, or may have someday been in her class, or needed a recommendation, or a review, or anything professional at all - then it's an inappropriate relationship. Why couldn't the relationship wait a year or two until she's out of school. I wish the teacher had respected the potential for the abuse of her position, even if both of you don't feel that your relationship is at all inappropriate, that doesn't mean it isn't. If you say "our relationship is ok" - then where is the line of what relationship between teachers and students isn't? If the student is 18 years and a day? 21? 45? Not ever in your class? Not in your class this semester? No chance of ever being in your class?

Why don't we just say simply - if they are a student at the school where you are a teacher, then it's hands off. Crops and paddles off too. Don't try to gray area it, just respect the position you are in. It is too important for all the people who might get abused by irresponsible teachers. Respect your students, your school, your career, yourself. Is it really that critical that you are free to do "it" now - and not just to be free to do it, but to put it online... let the world know?

The professor has gone on record saying (the) "people are claiming they don’t have problems with me on the web site, but they have problems with me on the website with a student. I don’t really believe that--I believe they would have found a way to go after me even if a student hadn’t been involved. Frankly, I’m a victim of other people imposing their morality on me."

Now, while I generally loathe to think that people are imposing their morality on others, we need to have some guidelines as a society to protect people's freedom. Above all, can't we pick a smarter fight then this? Who are we to impose our morality, or sexuality on them?

To be free to be who you want to be, are you somehow required that you post naked pictures of yourself a student on a website? Why take any risk at all of being judged for even possibly violating the trust that is so delicate and increasingly abused in a teacher/student dynamic? Is it a non-issue because the teacher is a woman, or the student is an adult?

Is sexual freedom somehow more important than someone's safety and security? I don't think so. There is just too much at stake here for us to ignore how many people can get hurt by that types of abuses of power. To dismiss that as less important than your desire to declare your sexuality on the internet - well it's selfish. It's wrong. It is irresponsible. While BDSM in a teacher & student dynamic might make for hot fantasy, it makes for an ugly reality. And I think it reflects poorly on kinksters everywhere. And that's my two cents.

Things change

I've been wondering for a few days about how to say this the right way, and I figured this is as good as any.

I probably won't be talking about my g/f here anymore. And if you do catch me doing it, please send me an email and point it out to me. My partner might still be my KH from time to time (KH = keyholder btw) - but she's not my g/f anymore.

Now, she is my fiancee. And for those who are curious. I had planned it for a few months, but was waiting for the right time. And then this weekend I got a bit wrapped up emotionally and just asked. And she said yes. After making sure I had in fact asked what she thought I had asked. No date set yet, no ring either. Just love, and a promise. The technical stuff will come in time.

What's particularly cute is how amazed my fiancee is that her mother was able to keep it a secret for the last couple of months, since evidently her mother can't keep a secret to save her life usually. I'm glad her mom didn't muss it up! So that's where that's at. Things... well... they change. Sometimes ;)

True suffering

I was whiny because my golf got rained out today. And then I watched this video and got perspective again about what real suffering is.

The poor, poor bastard...

Marriage undermined

CNN had an interesting article up today "Sex beats marriage on network TV, study shows". The gist of it is that we are showing marriage in a negative light on TV, and extra marital affairs, or even things such as "pornography, sex toys and "kinky" behavior, are shown in a positive light. It also says that "Visual references to practices such as voyeurism and sadomasochistic sex outnumbered married-sex references by a ratio approaching 3 to 1."

What's interesting to me is that for years I've looked at things like the Soap Operas and thought that all the drama and absurdity, the extreme romance, well... people start to think that's what life is "supposed" to be like. And they look at their own life, and they feel dissatisfied. Not everyone mind you, there are people who are sufficiently intelligent to see it for what it is, but ultimately if you watch or support something long enough, invite it into your life and your spirit over and over, you get conditioned.

And not to seem one sided, I also believe that if someone always gets off to pictures of super models, they start to condition themselves that way. I donno, maybe I'm not qualified for blog entries of this sort, but I do think that we're a far simpler creature than we like to think we are. We all want to belong, we all want to have our needs met. And when you see someone else (even on TV) get X or Y over and over again, you start to think that we all need X and Y. We all need the shiny new thing. We all need the super model, and the extra marital affair. Repeated exposure, conditioned responses - are we just evolving into Pavlov's dog?

*shrug*

I do think we all need a little kink, I mean that much is obvious and I appreciate TV for reminding me of that. But the other stuff, well - I donno. I'm becoming a bigger and bigger fan of reading again. :)

Stats Say: Smoking is Sexy

FHM announced their 100 sexiest women of the year recently. And at a quick glance I realized that most of them were smokers. In fact 8 out of the top 10 women are confirmed smokers, and 1 of the remaining 2 might be. What does that say to you? Statistically smokers make up between 20-25% of the female population. And yet, 80% of the top 10 are smokers.

Although, it turns out that the lists that I could google up out there as the official top 100 are sometimes slightly different on various sites. So, starting from the list on the FHM web site. So, I'm not sure which might be last years list or which is this year's list. So, I decided to take it a little further and combine the lists. Of fifteen different women, thirteen are smokers - 87%!!! Coincidence? Doubtful.

Megan Fox - more info - pics
Jessica Alba - more info - pics
Elisha Cuthbert - more info - pics
Scarlett Johansson - more info - pics
Hilary Duff - more info - pics
Hayden Panettiere - more info - pics
Angelina Jolie - more info - pics
Keira Knightley - more info - pics
Cheryl Cole - more info - pics
(Cole's maiden name was Tweedy btw)

Two Top 10s from last year, just for luck
Tricia Helfer - more info - pics
Emmanuelle Chriqui - more info - pics

All returning top 10 ladies smoke: Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Hilary Duff, Elisha Cuthbert. And what about the women on the lists that go up to 20? Well, of those women, another 80% are confirmed as smokers. The group from 21-30? 80%

11. Rihanna - more info - pics
12. Kate Beckinsale - more info - pics
13. Jessica Biel - more info - pics
14. Eva Longoria - more info - pics
15. Alessandra Ambrosio - more info - pics
16. Rachel Bilson - more info - pic
17. Beyonce Knowles - more info - pics
18. Gemma Atkinson - No
19. Jennifer Love Hewitt - No - info - pics
20. Christina Aguilera - more info - pics

When you get down to it - who am I to argue with the facts? And while some blogs might report their opinions as fact, but not Aarkeybabble! Well, maybe a little, but I would never put distracting yellow lines and text on a smoking hottie. Well, at least not without offering you a perfectly clean version of the picture too! :P

Well, it's official.

I am now old. I've got my 20th HS reunion tonight. It's not like "use a cane for walking" old, but old nonetheless.

However, I still have all my hair and I don't have man boobs, so I'm two up on most of my classmates!

Unfortunately my g/f has to work so she can't join me for the night. I guess I'll just have to grope all the women there. Hrm... I wonder if any are gropable... I mean, they're all old too! :P