Technically, it's not a white glove test

Creepy and yet, strangely exciting.

Eeep!

I don't know that I've ever made two blog entries in one day, but this deserved it.

This video (hosted @ sharebee) is of Portuguese beauty, Soraia Chaves. This short clip is from the movie "Call Girl" and is an edit I made from a much longer clip that was posted of all the movie's smoking scenes by Chill on the smoking celeb forums. And, even though she doesn't seem IRL, well... it's very hot. It's smoking hot. In technical terms, it is totally insanely smoking hot.

The only thing wrong with it is that it's too short. Well and also appears the video is a bit stretched tall - so that Soraia looks thinner than her already really thin self. And the sound is a bit tinny, but it's still insanely hot. Heck, she's wearing the outfit on the poster!!! I mean, geez, quit harpin on it! Gah... *melt*

And now the sad news. Netflix does not carry it :(

Men's Lib!

So, a big symbol for women's lib was bra burning. I guess for men it's our very own... pantyhose? Well that's what e-mancipate.net is telling us.

Now, while I am 100% in favor - actually make that 150% in favor of encouraging men to dress however we darned well please (women can, right???) I personally have never been a big fan of pantyhose. They're just too damned stuffy. Maybe it's because I'm in Florida, but I've always thought they were just, well... wrong. Stockings and garter belts FTW!

FTW = "For the win" in case you don't know the hip slangs. And what kind of company promotes pantyhose and flats?!? I mean, WTF is up with that??? You do know what WTF means, right?

Vanilla / Kinky - terms and usage

Last month, a Mistress I really admire, Miss Troy Orleans, wrote a blog entry about the fact that she doesn't perceive herself as kinky. She mused about her perceptions and beliefs regarding how and whys.

But by my definitions, she's kinkier than I.

See, really... when you get down to it, I'm pretty traditional. I like monogamy. I like having a "closed" relationship. I like women. I haven't had a threesome, well... not in the traditional sense at least. I'm actually not all that kinky. I'm not into fluids of any type. I don't want to be lit on fire. Heck, when it comes to kink I'm pretty old school too. I like black leather, thigh high boots, cuffs and chains, and dark lipstick.

Sure, I push the edges of my own kinks a bit, but I'm not all that out there. No catheter from my dilly dangle up into my own mouth thankyouverymuch. No "swinging just because I'm out of town" kinda stuff. Just a loving, kinky, fun, monogamous relationship. Out of 100 people I'm probably near the top of pervs, but out of real kinksters, I'm not really a very adventurous soul.

Pretty vanilla, right? This is almost traditional sex, right?

And yet, I would never say (to someone who is a close friend at least) that I'm not a kinkster, a perv, someone who's "non-traditional" sexually. How could I? But I guess that's about how you define things. Can you spot a pervert?

Someone once asked (on a kinky board mind you) if there was anyone there who still enjoyed "vanilla" sex. And I replied "Oh absolutely. Especially if it includes his and hers matching butt plugs and nipple clamps and blindfolds and maybe some handcuffs..."

So, what's vanilla? Really? What is kinky? Really?

The whole thing about defining who and what is well... have you ever heard of the hanky code? It makes the Period Table look simple. Oh, that reminds me of the calendar episode on Rescue Me...

Smoking Style #38 - Closet Smokers

First, I really have to learn to temper these blog entries in. The length of babble is just too much. Now, with that said, I have kept meaning to write more about the various subtle aspects of the smoking fetish community, so - here comes one on that few non fetishists know about - it's the "Closet Smoker" - sometimes also called the "shy smoker" or the "sneaky smoker." And it is not actually known as style #38, but it is definitely one of the lesser known smoking sub-fetishes.

The closet smoker is a woman who to the outside world is a total non-smoker. She might even be a rabid anti-smoker, and yet, when no one is around she'll have a cigarette. She'll hide behind the building, in the bathroom with the window open and the fan on, or up on the roof. But no one will know. She hides her cigarettes, she'll do all kinds of things to keep from smelling like smoke, or from anyone knowing. She might only smoke on vacation, or if her husband is out of town for work, or if she's been drinking, etc.

But deep down inside, there is a part of her that wants, maybe even needs, to be able to identify herself a smoker. Maybe the "getting away with something naughty" it is a big part of the joy for her. Either way, the world isn't allowed to know. It's her little secret.

It took me a while to understand the appeal for the fetishist of this type of smoker. Personally, I'm a fan of confident woman, who says "this is who I am, take it or leave it." And in my fantasy at least, she has a hand on her hip, a challenging glare in her eye, dark red lips, and a cigarette in her delicate fingers. Even if she's just an occasional smoker, she does it right in your face - because ultimately, who are you to deny her from the pleasures she enjoys? Yah... I thought so.

But here's a group of guys who like the idea of a woman who is *gasp* ashamed of her smoking? Something as sexy as smoking? How is that hot? So I asked some guys who were clearly into this sub-fetish and I get it. Oh, I get it now... I get it now, big time.

The appeal comes from two distinct angles. For one group, it is the simple fact that in the fetishists fantasy mind, every woman can be a closet smoker. She just doesn't let you see it, but you can still close your eyes and imagine it. And I'm sure you do. For the second group it's the rebellious nature of it. Although the closet smoker plays by the rules in front of the world, deep down... she's a rebel. She's going to do what she wants - even if you don't ever know. And I won't go into details about the school girls smoking. That's another sub fetish. But school girl skirts are a mandatory man fetish anyway ;)

Anyway, recently I was reminded of the closet smoking sub-fetish group when a post on the smoking celebs forum got my curiosity. Robin Meade, an attractive CNN reporter seemed to have been caught Marlboro handed on live video. In the clip, she definitely has a bit of a "caught in the cookie jar" smirk on her face, as she awkwardly slid something that looked a whole lot like a pack of Marlboro lights under her papers.

But was it? Some said she claimed on a video blog that they weren't cigarettes, it was a small camera. Folks were skeptical. Where's the proof? They sure look like cigarettes! I can see the writing! I can smell the smoke!!! Well, it took a while, but I am convinced that it was in fact, a small camera. The whole idea of catching a beautiful closet smoker, who tried to hide her habit, was entertaining. And I do think she's got a bit of a smoker's rasp ;)

It's not uncommon for celebs to hide that they smoke. Part of it is about their image, sometimes it's about not promoting it with kids Cheryl Ladd refused to be photographed smoking for that reason. Actually there is a pretty good number of celebs who are like that. Debra Messing is another great example. For years there were folks who claimed they saw Debra smoking, but no pictures. She even "over acted" as a non-smoker in her smoking roles - that staged *cough* bit... and then, recently... a few different casual pictures here and there. Another long time closet smoker was Valerie Bertinelli. For years, Ms. Bertinelli similarly tried to hide her smoking. Though smoking sides shows a few references to her smoking - I personally only recall only one instance, from a late 70s show where she played a split personality girl - and the bad girl personality a More 120's smoker. Anyone notice that it is always the evil twin who's the smoker? But alas, that's another blog entry. And although some of these women celeb smokers try desperately to hide their indulgence, there are many more actresses and models who are completely brazen about their smoking, but again... that is also another entry. ;)

So, back to closet smokers. Jessica Alba, was an almost identical situation as Valerie's. Back in April of '02, there were a couple of scenes in one episode of "Dark Angel" called "She Ain't Heavy" where Jessica was played a duplicate "evil" version of her regular character. And the evil version smoked - because obviously when there is a good twin, and an evil one (or a personality transformation / abduction / brainwashing). They use smoking so you know which one is the good and which one is well... evil isn't the right word. Lets go with sassy - ok? And if one is going to smoke it's the naughty, sassy, sexy one. In some really rare cases they both smoke, but in those instances, the sassy one smokes some outlandish cigarette, or uses a holder or just something out of the normal. Either way, that's another sub-fetish topic.

So, in the scenes, Jennifer's lit up and smoked a few times. The thing about Alba's performance is she smoked with a real flair and familiarity. To the studied eyes of smoking fetishists it was pretty universally clear that she was a smoker, an "IRL" (IRL = In Real Life smoker) as we say. But then, for years - nothing. She never once got photographed smoking. Never another TV or movie scene with her smoking. Nada. But hope dies slowly in the smoking fetish community, especially when folks keep making fakes of her smoking.

Then finally, summer of '07. Voila. Not one shot, but several, they all started showing up in quick succession. Hanging out in her movie trailer, sitting in a cafe, walking to a car with her beau, riding in a car... Ms. Alba, was officially showing the whole world that she was a smoker.

I do wonder sometimes if learning the veracity of it was a strange little buzz kill for the guys who like the closet smokers. And then, right after her "I'm a smoker" coming out photos, she went and got pregnant - and quit smoking.

How's that for comic! Of course, now she's had the baby, the closet smoker fetishists can start fantasizing that she is lighting up again ;)

I want this!

GIMME GIMME GIMME! I want one!!!

Silly Putty Clock.

I'll be your bestest friend forever. Or at least for a week. Maybe even two.

But you have to get it for me first and then I'll tell ya how long.

Ok?

Why Sugasm?

I'm not getting something - the whole Sugasm thing.

And it seems to be growing. And I totally do not get it. I see more and more blogs where suddenly there is this entry that's a page of links that all read like spam to me. Is it the whole "WOW free amateur porn literature!!! Every week!!! I must SpAm, SpaM, Spammy, SPAMMM it!

Why promote it? Is amateur porn literature that tough to find that all these blogs feel compelled to share it with us? I mean... a handful of "wow that's hot" links I'm 100% fine with - but there are dozens of links in each week's "Sugasm" and frankly to me it's numbing. I think this week's list was 60 links. FYI folks, if I go to your blog it's to read YOUR blog. Not to get spammed. I think that I get plenty of spam already thankyouverymuch.

I just donno. I don't want to just link everything to everyone and call the world's attention to me. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty big attention whore too, but something like Sugasm seems like it's one of those "ok, we have had enough now" things. Ya know, kinda like when the folks in the porn movie clearly aren't into it? The guy has a half a hard on, the woman yawns... yah, technically it is porn. Even if it puts you to sleep.

Hrm, I wonder if there are folks out there with fetish for "sex with a passed out person." Maybe they have some info on it at Sugasm ;)

Star Trek : TSG

The Sexed Generation


I think the "last time we did that I was sore for a week" was my favorite remark, though Worf's first remark was damned good too. I thought it got stronger as it went along - although the last 90 seconds could've been just cut from it IMO too. It is plenty long enough.

"It kinda freaked me out"

"It kinda freaked me out." That's what he said.

Our therapist that is. My blog. It freaked him out. It was just a bit too much. Too much content actually, not the nature of the content.

Or so he claims. I think he's just a prude. A really gay one. I mean he's the one who asked if it would bug us if he went to a Fetish Factory party. And my g/f is the one who mentioned assless chaps... and it's my blog that is too much? Oi!

I wonder if outting him is inappropriate. I guess I won't know, since he hasn't looked at it since he checked it 2 weeks ago. Which means he didn't see me in the corset at least.

I guess that's all for the best. Knowing that I'm a freak, and thinking I'm a freak are two different things... right? :D

I.M.O.

IMO = In My Opinion

When I read and when I write stuff on forums or blogs, I always try to remember that the IMO is in there - and I hope others see it in my blog. I have no certification that has qualified me as an expert in anything.

And IMO, Angelina Jolie in the movie Wanted wasn't sexy. She looked emaciated, gaunt... unhealthy. And it makes me sad to think that a woman who one of the biggest sex symbols in the world is up on the screen (where they say the camera adds 10 pounds!) and she looks like a walking pro-anorexia advertisement. Don't get me wrong, I know that not all women are fuller figured, and FWIW I am a fan of most of the sizes and shapes of women. Even the thin ones. Heck if you go over the blog, it's probably fair to say I prefer thinner. But there's a line in there, isn't there? Don't we have enough young women with body dysmorphia in the world?

Now, who am I to say this or that about Angelina? It's not like she's ever said anything bad about me. Heck, I'm just some kinkster with a blog who babbles. I am not a doctor. Maybe she's perfectly healthy. Maybe I am missing the point. Maybe the fact that I thought it was a 1.5 star movie biased everything. Maybe it's just the fact that I thought Angelina was always going to be a smoking hot woman, at least before I saw this movie.

But IMO she looked awful. In one scene she gets out of bath and walks away, it's obvious that it's supposed to be full of sex appeal. And some people thought that she looked hot. Not me, though. I thought her shoulders looked 12" apart from each other. I thought she looked awful. I thought of the movies I've seen about the holocaust. No joke. And I don't say that lightly. She looked *that* thin.

*shrug*

I'm not here to tell you what to think, and although generally I'm a huge fan of "nothing nice to say then keep your yapper closed" but I felt compelled to share it. I don't know what's what in the world, but I hope that the next time I see Angelina on the screen I think of the beauty that I've seen in a dozen movies before this one. Anyways, that's just IMO - I don't know why I felt driven to share it, probably just how smoking hot that I had always thought Angelina was.

PS. Congrats to Brangelina, on the twin babies they just had. I don't take any credit for my post causing Mrs. Brangelina to go into labor btw. It's just a coincidence, I think.

And now for something completely different 2

In fairness, he does stand over the ball for too long. :)

She gives great HoH

Well, it seems if I leave a picture of myself in a corset up on the blog long enough I get a spate of personal notes from blog readers. All saying pretty much the same thing "Ok Aarkey, you look good in a corset, but enough already - we want real women eye candy!"

So, without further ado...

Introducing Supermodel Yasmeen Ghauri, a woman who knows how to give great HoH! That's a "Hand on Hip" for blog newcomers. With her unfair to humanity supermodel physique, Yasmeen sure has the confidence to throw around a "You're in so much trouble young man" - lucky you! Yasmeen is perhaps best known for her picture in Revlon's mid-90s "More Dangerous than the Male" ad campaign.


And here's a baker's dozen for anyone who wants more