Holy golf addict!

Ya know, I like to golf. I like it a lot. I really wish I could golf more often, but dahm...

Someone let me know about the website ghin.com to track your rounds information. Greens in reg, handicap, etc.

Some guy recorded 502 rounds in 2007! That's more than an average of 24 holes of golf a day! Every day. For a year. Talk about a golf addict. That's just totally insane.

I wonder if there's a golfers anonymous? And if so, do they give out golf balls for lengths of abstinence?

Fantasy & Reality - Pt. I

Do you struggle trying to tell what's real?

On the internet, finding out what's real can sometimes be tough to tell. Though over the years and on a few different forums, I have developed a pretty good sniffer for bull. But it there isn't any easy formula. There isn't a tip word that sets off the alarm or the verification. It's just become instinctual over time. And I'm not 100% right, probably 99% of the time though. Just like with picking out photoshop fakes. I can be wrong sometimes, but I'll usually put some money down on what my gut tells me.

Now, some people think it's harmless and just good fun to pop on a forum and share their fantasies as if they are reality. And sometimes it's tough to tell for sure. When folks talk about things that go from just slightly outside what I have seen or heard from people I trust, I don't always know. However there are also instances when it's so extreme that it's comic. Either way, when things sound "fake" to me, it's a bit of a bummer because I think that when people post fantasy stuff and claim it's real, it devalues what the sincere folks are really going through. Especially regarding the fringe activities - since it misinforms the people. If someone is curious about BDSM - lets say her boyfriend said that he would "love if she became an S&M Mistress in the bedroom" - so she looks it up online, finds a forum and suddenly walks into stories about whipping to blood and scat play, or a chastised cuckold drinking the cum of 20 strangers that their wife had sex with at the local park... even if they can sniff out the bull, they might well be put off by some of the more extreme fantasy type ideas. If folks put it in the context of a story, I can't say that there is anything "wrong" with sharing it. I'm sure it can still scare off the novices, but if they're going to scare off that easily chance are they aren't going to stick with it too far anyway I guess.

And we all know, fantasies can go pretty far out on the limb. I guess dragging people along into their fantasy is more exciting in some ways than just trying to write a sexy fantasy story (or maybe it's just a lot easier) - but either way, when folks wonder why established community members give a new person a bit of suspicion, it is usually because of the high # of wankers we've seen over the years. Trusting what someone says or writes - online, just like in person, is something that can only be earned over time.

So remember that there are real people still learning about this whole kinky world, when you decide to talk about the time that you saved Tokyo with your 40' erection ;)

Perfectly real

In the responses to my blog entry from last week about blogging motivations there was a consistent response from the women readers; they like when I talk about my relationship. But that's has the toughest type of blogging for me. It's personal, it's private, it's tricky... it's real. And I was finding that far more often than I would like, what I wrote about the relationship felt like an emotional dump.

And I didn't want Aarkeybabble to read like one of the negative, 'never satisfied' whiny type of blogs. And frankly I don't like going there. It's definitely a part of real life, and recently I decided to write up a series here called "reality : fantasy" about finding and ideally enjoying the balance in a real, grown up, day to day life.

With that said, my g/f and I are in counseling. I'm really glad we are. We had our first real argument back in March. It was long overdue. A lot was shared and aired that needed it - and a few days later she suggested we look into counseling. And we have. And I'm really glad that we've taken this step.

Now, just to give a little background, we both have our past life relationship baggage. We've both been married and divorced, so we know about the heartbreak and disappointments that life sometimes has. I have had quite a bit of counseling going back to when I was 9 and my teacher thought (and rightly so) that I was depressed - and my g/f has had only one, borderline traumatic counseling experience when her mom brought her to someone in order to straighten her up into a good Christian girl. I don't know if she was getting repeatedly caught in her catholic school girl outfit, wearing dark lipstick and smoking behind the school, but I seem to always picture it that way... *cough* ummmm, where was I...

Now, I'm the talker. I talk about feelings, I share pretty well - but I am also very intense sometimes, and I know that - so I try to temper it. I've had quite a bit of help from lots of folks over the years to learn how to communicate and open up, and even identify what I'm feeling. But, I'm a Scorpio, in case you weren't aware, and I'm also an engineering type, and I tend to be neat, orderly and a bit OCD and controlled. The g/f, well she's doesn't talk about feelings, almost never. She's an Irish-Italian fire sign, Aries (it seems that 80% of the women I've dated are Aries, WTF???) - and she's an artist. She flies by the seat, and likes it that way. She sets it up that way if things are too orderly. Her desk explodes into mess and then gets cleaned and then everything is lost, and it explodes again to find it, and then, well... you get the idea.

So, our tiff started over a coffee cup. It was the 6th day in a row she left it on my desk when she checked her e-mail before leaving for work. I don't mind it once in a while, but everyday? It was personal!!! Well, not really, but that's how it felt. So it sparked off a good, and ultimately healthy, fight.

And lots of things are much better now. No, it's not some ideal world, and yes we are both aware that there is real life work to do, and we're human and we get tired and get colds or even real headaches. But the most important thing for me is that the tension is very removed. We can talk, and we are talking - sometimes about uncomfortable things. And it's wonderful.

So, maybe I can start writing more positive stuff. I do know that I had a bit of a fear that if I wrote too much negative stuff that she might read it and take it the wrong way. I'm not concerned about that now, for two reasons. First, she doesn't read the blog. That hurt when I had to admit it to myself, but the fact is she spends an average of 30 mins a day online, and aside from checking e-mail (her inbox has hundreds of unread mails, mine is clear) - she looks for raw food recipes. Sometimes real life is a bit more rushed, and there just isn't much time for reading my little blog about whatever perverted machination is going on in my head. I wish there were, but much of the time there really isn't. And it's ok. I understand that.

So, she doesn't read it, though she might pop in at some point - and I guess that just keeps me honest. Additionally, we're talking about our uncomfortable stuff, so I don't fear shocking or emotionally crushing her now (any critique from me was taken very harshly by her, regardless of how hard I tried). Anyway, all in all that's great stuff. I feel liberated in some ways that I haven't for a long while.

So, there's a real blog entry about our relationship. More to come in the future, since it's obviously part of what's important about this blog's readership. And frankly I would hate for this to just become some wank blog of hot pictures of women looking dommy. Especially considering some of the readers (and occasionally this author) are locked up in chastity and that's just cruel and unusual and I don't want to be intentionally be involved in teasing and denying other folks.

Now, if someone wants to read one of my dumpy whiny blog entries... I never posted this one. I wrote it back after valentines day. I don't' even remember what got me to write it, but I never used it since it was so... well.... whiny. But I think it does a good job of demonstrating what was being emotionally vomited out of me, and probably why I didn't want to write it on the blog and focus on the negativity. I'm so glad we're doing better. I love my g/f so much. I want her to know it. I need her to know it. I also need for it to be ok for me to say "Honey, everything isn't 100% perfect all the time" - and maybe if I do it too much she'll spank me for it. Or maybe she'll spank me just because she loves me. Or loves spanking me. Or both.

"Button Pushing"

A close friend asked how my v-day went recently, since she read my V-day doom and gloom blog entry. When she told me about her v-day, I remarked that she was always really good at bringing out the romantic side in her husband. And my remark seemed to surprise her.

Most guys are like me. And when left to my own devices, I lean a lot more towards hot & dirty. I don't have much of any natural inclination towards anything romantic. It's like dancing, heck I'll go out there and probably do as well as most guys, but no matter how hard I work at it, I feel awkward and self conscious doing it. It doesn't feel natural to me, and I'm definitely not out there for me.

I read another remark a week or so ago on a chastity forum. One of the posters asked if there were guys out there who's KH (key holder's) forced them to wear panties. His didn't, and though he wanted it - he was afraid to push her too far. Then he wrote - "The closest I get is by buying her tons of pink panties which I then get to hand wash every week for her. Hand washing her panties is a real turn on particularly since we now have a special basket for it and she expects me to do it. She never thanks me either. I love it!" - Now, I'm not sure if he loves the ritual & ceremony of the hand washing, or the fact that she "expects" him to do it, or that she never thanks him for it. Maybe it's a combination of all three, but it's really remarkable how things that push one person's hot spot might not work for another. That kind of being ignored would irk the hell out me, in the worst possible way.

Sometimes I think my g/f as a dom is much like my romance thing. She seems to be 100% into it when it's happening, but she doesn't initiate it. She seems self conscious about it, and well it just isn't something natural to her. But it's a hot spot and a need for me, so she does it - but it's tough when I'm initiating her initiation of it. That takes 90% of of the domination out of it. :(

In a way I think that I would love for her to 'order' me into panties; or to be her maid, and hand wash her delicates. But if she did it without any thanks at all, I don't know... that would probably irk me. And yet there is a part of me that wonders if I could get to that place of service at some point. Could I feel so dominated and enamored that I simply did service either as a thanks or as a emotional tribute in a sense. I wonder about things like that a good deal. And I feel like I'm light years away from it sometimes too. But then again, I guess that goes with the fact that I feel, even when I'm being dominated, that I'm being "serviced" in a sense... which I think is part of why I've learned to love being gagged and blindfolded. I can disappear into my fantasy world and not have to look her in the eyes and wonder if she wishes I didn't need this in our relationship. And that is one of my biggest fears.

Whattawaist!

I'm shamelessly cross posting this from the staylace.com updates, because her corsetted figure is just too delicious not to.

Anti-smoking - kinda sorta

A few months ago on Psycho Tyra Banks' TV show "America's Next Top Model" they decided to make the series smoke free. Because, well... models usually consider cigarettes to be the 4th food group - after the other three groups: air, diet coke and Columbian coke. Now, I'd never watched the series, but evidently there has been criticism because during the reality show, the models were shown smoking the first couple of seasons. It doesn't take a genius to realize that having a group of models smoking like that is about as good an advertisement as any tobacco exec could have wish for. So this season one of the first contests was for the models to take pictures that would show the "smoking downside" - ummm, call me crazy but that implies that there is also an "upside" right?

Heck, even their own remarks about it: "I think Tyra had the right idea," Jay continues. "One of the ugly truths about the fashion industry as a whole is the whole smoking issue. A lot of girls smoke. It helps them lose weight, and it glamorizes smoking." Heck, in the 60's I'm pretty sure that big tobacco would pay big $ to place a Virginia Slims ad following that remark.

If you want to see them all, here's a link to the pictures and the critiques by the judges. I have to admit, I loved some of the remarks. Regarding Lisa's picture Nigel says: It's cheeky, it's sultry... you make this (smoking) look so good. I have to admit, I'm with Nigel. I just wish that the picture were bigger.

Seriously, if they wanted to make smoking less attractive I could've helped a lot. It would've pained me to try to have the women look awkward while smoking, but almost all of these photos look like cigarette adds if you just focus on the right hand side. Oh heck, who am I kidding, I probably would've been whacking off back stage while the photo shoots were going on, of course a good chastity belt could prevent that. At the very least, they should give me a chance to help. I sure would've liked to!

Still want more? You can view the part of the episode with this photo shoot here.

Creepy

A wild and pervy friend of mine (Mistress Harlequin) has a clown fetish. I suspect this is right up her alley.

Ok, I have a bit of a crush...

Now, while I may totally lust after some celebs, models and actresses, a real crush is rare. I'll say that Winona is a legit, no denying it, crush. But most are just a single picture I see that makes me say wow! who's that feisty tamale! And a day later it's gone, a passing moment of guy lust. Ok, Natalie is a legit crush - especially with a sexy page boy haircut *swooon* - but most lusts are very fleeting, just a hot picture or two.

There is one woman however who totally has me, and her call sign is Pink Five. She reminds me a bit of an ex, with whom I had an intense but almost painfully brief fling with. And then for years it was just left in this mutual long distance longing... never again to be fulfilled. Which Stacey can relate to, since she's got a bit of a, well... I guess you might call it a stalking thing going with Han.

Anyways, I'm not 100% sure why Ms. Pink reminds me so much of this particular ex but she definitely does. It's probably a combination of the big eyes, and the sexy lips and her use of hyper dramatic bratty nature. Oh and that's not a bad bratty nature, it's the insanely hot kind of bratty.

So here it is, I've definitely developed a total geek frush for Stacey. Some real geek folks (Tangent Queen) have probably known Stacey for years already - but if not, and you are a Star Wars fan, with a slight sense of humor, you will probably appreciate her work. Since it is well... as Stacey says "Horror, like, totally beyond imagination."

She has developed a significant following with the Star Wars fans. And at conventions girls dress up as her (hrm, I wonder if I could be the first boy to to that... but I'm probably a bit too old to pull off that without being super creepy in a vanilla setting.) Anywho... her videos now get full attention and releases. Fans have even gone so far as to make her pink R2 unit in full size, and someone has made a one of a kind Pink Five collectible doll! I wonder how much that would cost to buy? All told, there are 4 episodes in her Star Wars tribute series, and they're progressively more professionally done. Each one is chock full of silly, but who can't relate to being in the middle of a furball fight and thinking "I kinda zoned out during the briefing." :)

Motivations - Why do you?

Why read a blog?

I have a handful of blogs that I read, some I read like the news, checking in on an almost daily basis to see what's going on with their world. Other blogs I check less frequently - heck, most blogs aren't updated every day anyway. And those blogs with 3 and 4 pages or writing every day kinda freak me out anyway. I mean WTF do these people do for a living that they can spend that much time just writing about what they're experiencing?

Now, I also have to wonder what brings someone here sometimes. Is it just the hawt fetish pictures? Is it the humor? Is it the LOL Catz? Modelz? Is it the power of the divine? Is it just the drama? Is it the BDSM? The FemDom? The smoking? The corsets? The strapon talk? The chastity? The photoshop lessons? Have I found the right balance of reality and fantasy? Is it the silly babbling person? Hrm.

And on the other side of the coin - Why do they blog?

It seems like great majority of blogs never really get started, maybe a dozen entries and then they disappear. I have learned to chuckle at the post that sometimes comes weeks, even a month or maybe even a year later that says "I know I haven't updated in a while, I'm going to stick to it again" - and then there is never a further post.

The next most common blog seems more of like a day to day journaling, but it's almost always from a venting/bitching place of spirit. It's not just a day to day diary, though I suspect a pure diary wouldn't work. Blogging obviously is public, and that has to alter the way people write. At least it definitely tempers what I say from time to time. But what's most interesting is that I've found that these consistantly negative tone blogs seem to thrive. I guess when people post about a problem or situation, it encourages discussion more easily. I can see why that would bring people out to post replies "No you don't understand" or "Have you thought about ____" or even just to support or console "I hear ya, I know that feeling."

But I find that all kinda sad. Why do so many seem to approach alternative lifestyles from this inherently negative perspective time and time again?

So even I look over the bookmarks I have and I find that the majority of active blogs I read aren't about deep thinking, or entertaining musings; but they are more often negative sounding - negative focused. I can think of one sub guy's blog in particular where it seems that 90% of his posts start off with some kind of awful kick in the crotch. Even if it's looking back at where they used to be emotionally and seeing how far they've come, the topic is addressed by "how lame I was" rather than "how much I've learned or grown or changed" - and I think that's a sad way to approach your journey.

Of course I do realize that this is a blog post that is shining a light on the negativism of negative blog entries. Not unlike the letters to the editor on the Python TV series "Dear Sirs, I wish to complain about all high volume of letters that are complaining of late..." Of course signed by Rear Adm. Some such (((pause))) Mrs.

And along barely similar lines, I recently found out about sugasm. Evidently it's a weekly "best bloggers" thing. Though I guess (and pardon me if I sound all snooty) that there was some kind of competition going on? Sheesh. Oh well, I guess I'm not going to crack the top 100 going against topics like "Blonde MILF tastes her pussy in gangbang" - and just between us... I am totally ok with with not cracking the winners circle in a blog contest like that. I wonder... does that make me a prude?

Two quick little things

Still busy, but getting closer to seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. But I had to share these two items. First, I might not know much about womens, but I will share the few things I do know ;)

These items are not in any particular order, and I'm using the lovely Jennifer Love Hewitt, from the movie Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber - in which she played a totally self centered bitch, who happens to smoke in most of her scenes. If you get a hold of this, do not waste your time with watching it in regular speed, FF is your friend. Unless of course you are a real masochist. Oh, and the smoking fetish community agrees that it is clear she isn't an IRL smoker, so she doesn't really inhale or exhale, but she sure looks cute holding a cigarette, and smoking during a sex scene is worth 37 points on the 1-10 scale.

Part 2 today is about the movie I just added to the top of my netflix queueueueue, Alpha Dog. I'd never heard of it, but after reading the remarks on by Ms. Olivia Wilde about her smoking scene, well I had to add it.

"I loved that the scene [in Alpha Dog (2006)] wasn't about the nudity; it's about belittling his manhood. And I love the fact that I'm like sitting back with my boobs out, smoking a cigarette, and completely insensitive and hard. I found that really powerful. Rawwwr!

Gah!

Another day without an update? Sheesh. You must be thinking I'm a slacker, but I'm not. Just busy, but at least I'm getting stuff done. What's the worst of it, is I've got some fun kinky stuff to share too!

Meh. Too damned busy.

In the mean while, does anyone know who this woman is? Cause I've seen more than a few pictures of her, and I've no idea who she is, but ya gotta love her style. She's definitely worth a second look. Ok fine. You don't gotta, but I do gotta. Since I'm a smoking fetishist and she's just totally hot, and she's into sexy leather or latex or skirts and has some hot red lips and gloves, so... gah!

Let me know who she is, dagnabit!

Pleeeeeeze.

The first person to correctly ID her gets a red smiley on their paper.

And if you don't know how important the red smiley is, then clearly it's been a long time since you were in the 3rd grade. Lets put it this way, the red smiley beats the gold star, and the blue star combined!

Ok, I need sleep. That much is obvious...

WTF?

No time for more than this, gotta run out to start house shopping. Either way I just had to pass this total WTF? along... Leningrad Cowboys & Red Army Choir singing - Sweet Home Alabama

Too damned busy!

Gah. This week it's all been... work work work. Bang head on wall. Work, work, work. Bang, bang, bang... rinse, repeat.

Anyways, I gotta share this vid that turned up today on the Kinky Gerlinky forums. Supposedly this is Angelina Jolie's first modeling shoot, back when she was 16. Skip ahead to the 8:15 moment to see the young Goddess in Latex - and chomping gum, which actually isn't a fetish of mine ;)

Just click her picture *Aarkey points to the sexy picture of Angelina* to see the You Tube video. And skip ahead to 8:15 ;)