Ruining Orgasms - Part I

I was going to call this entry ruined orgasms, but as I wrote more I realized I really want to discuss more than just that. And to clarify, the discussion will not be about prostate milking/massage - since I consider that more of an orgasm denial than a ruining thing.

It's not that ruined orgasms are not a totally awesome topic in and of itself. Personally I just think that just the expression is great enough to discuss when you stop to think about it. To put it simply, those are two words that normally just do *not* get filed together in my mind. Ruined. Orgasm. When I first heard of it, I thought it was just such a crazy idea - almost impossible for me to grasp. But such a thing definitely does exist. And it's really a unique experience. What was extra funny about it, is that I'd actually experienced this years ago with one of my more devious girlfriends.

But before I get into "remember whens" let me explain a bit about the sensations. First, if you haven't ever had one, and you are curious (and have enough self control) you can experience it by yourself. Just at the very moment you begin to have an orgasm, stop all contact. Completely abandon touching yourself. It's the opposite side of the coin to an overstimulated style of orgasm. You know, when after you cum, how extremely sensitive it all gets... and yet she continues to and maybe even with greater intensity - rub things. And you start to buck against the restraints, and flail about, and whimper through your gag and then well... ummm... where was I?

Oh yes, the ruined orgasm. Anyway, the type I just described is called "abandonment" - and I strongly feel that it is one of the only two safe types of ruined orgasms. The other is very similar, and it's a minimalist one. Jill from robandjill.com specializes in that. Often at the actual moment of orgasm for Rob, the only contact she has is extremely limited. Sometimes it is just the tip of a finger gently and slowly rubbing his shaft - that's it. Nothing more. But it requires some serious practice, and I suspect a serious amount of edging too. For those of you who don't know edging, that's bringing someone to the edge of orgasm, slowing down to not cum, but not stopping completely. It's like an extra risque type of tease & denial. You really have to know your partner's responses in order to edge them, and some folks claim that they can really drag it out. Some sub guys who are in lifestyle chastity claim they can edge for "hours" though that would require more discipline than I can fathom, and I personally suspect that minutes feel like hours. At least that's how it feels for me the couple times when we've done anything like edge play.

Now, those two types are abandonment and minimalist. I've read one dominatrix / porn stars website that details a dozen other styles. All 12 are about stopping or preventing the ejaculate from coming out. And I vividly remember Dr. Drew from the old MTV days talk in an almost panic about the risks of stopping ejaculation from leaving the body. In addition to possibly causing a retrograde ejaculation - which is when semen floods back into the bladder. And as bad as that might sound, it was the idea of rupturing the tubing down there or hurting the prostate which were Dr. Drew's two big concerns. Either way, watching his dramatic response was enough for me. So, if you want to play that way please be careful about it.

Now, remember when I mentioned I'd experienced ruined orgasms in the past? The first relationship I had with a truly dominant & kinky g/f who incorporated this type of orgasm in our playing. She introduced me to the custom of pinching off the tip of my cock at orgasm to prevent "the mess" (as she referred to it.) Personally I found it made for a more intense orgasm, and obviously less mess. However when I found out that it can damage the internal plumbing (and there were times that I felt almost herniated after an orgasm like that) I immediately discontinued the practice. As Dr. Drew said, things that are designed to leave the body, really should leave the body. The idea of causing myself permanent damage because of something like that just didn't seem at all worth the risk. And really if you want to truly ruin an orgasm, it fails at the designed task. Oh, it changes the sensations, but it doesn't ruin it at all. No the way that abandonment or minimalist does. And what pouty little bratty sub deserves a "different" orgasm, when you can teach a lesson to them with a ruined one anyway?

As an aside, that g/f was also the first woman to introduced me to tease & denial. I can recall one particular evening when she bound my arms above my head, then ran the rope under the couch and tied it to the front leg. While sitting there watching a movie she would unzip my fly and give me head for a few minutes getting me totally throbbing, then abandon it. Get up and make popcorn, smoke a cigarette, whatever... when I'd go limp again. She'd either tease me back up again or zip my pants closed. She kept that up for a little over an hour until I got so frustrated that I started getting angry and blew up about it. At the time what I claimed irked me most was that she hadn't discussed any of it before doing it to me. *Le Sigh* Can you say selfish and immature? I thought you could. In my defense, a 22 year old's drive for orgasm is a pretty intense thing.

Anywho, as to abandonment style ruined orgasms, it's brutal. A bit like having a terrible itch that you aren't allowed to scratch. It can be used as a genuine lifestyle punishment, that is something I promise you. Especially when incorporated with the kind of extended denial that chastity play can include. My next entry though will be about more specific "punishment" orgasms. You know, like when Jill tells Rob that she wants only a single drop of cum to get out, and then he misbehaves. What's a domme to do?